New Suth Effrican Deekshunry - "New South African Dictionary" ... for those who can't quite make it out! Officials of the New South African government have come to realise that the current status of having eleven official languages in the New South Africa is impractical. A new language has thus been introduced. This is English as it is now spoken on television and radio. The recently published New Suth Effrican Deekshunry defines these new weds. Here are some extracts and examples of their usage in official lungwich; but plies, you must read it with a good accent... Arwa - as in "arwa deemands" Bad - you sleep on it in da badroom Beds - eagles, doves, etc. Beg - container, as in shopping-beg, hand-beg, tog-beg Ben - to set alight Chealdrin - ow futcha is in their hands Chetz - where worshippers go on Sundays Cuds - you can play poker or rummy with them Cut - a small donkey-drawn vehicle Debben - city in KZN Detty - opposite of clean Diellas - as in drug diellas or we-pon diellas Driva - holds the steering wheel of a teksi Duck - very duck at night when da lights are all off Ebben - you get ebben erriors and rural erriors Erriors - districts, like ebbon erriors Ewways - like SAA, ComAir Fems - companies, like Anglo-American Fest - da one before sekand and terd Fum - you can fum with ship, goats or kettle Fumma - he owns the fum Gaddin - where you grow kebbijees Geeve - you must geeve, I will take Get - a hinged device in a fence Hair - feminine form of hiem Heppi - state of elatemunt, like I'm so heppi - I jist voted Hiss - masculine form of hairs Hoss - they race at da track Hubba - where sheeps dock Itch - as in "itch and avairy" Jems - little bugs that geeve you da flu Kah - what you drive around in Kennel - ummy officer Keptown - parliament doesn't belong de Kettegry - in a system of classification Kettelog - shopping brochure Kettle - cows and bulls Kipper - one who kips, as in goal-kipper Kleenex - where nesses weck Kot - where judges sit Lan - to acquire knowledge Lieda - as in "arwa lieda, da president, Madiba" Mick - those that will inherit da eth Miening - what is the miening of dies attak? Nesses - they wek in kleenex and hospitals Peepol - all of us, da nation Phlegm - da benning top of a kendal Piss - symbolised by a white dove Piss Tox - between IRA and Tony Blair Reeva - Limpopo,Vaal, Orange, etc. Scotched Eth - guerilla tactic Sheep - big boat Shex - houses in squatter camp Ship - provider of wool Shuck - "Jaws" Shuck-attak - if shuck-net is broken Shuck-net - at Debben, for safety of sweamas Spitch - what politicians make at a rally Sweamas - compete in a sweaming pool Taps - solvent to thin enamel paint Teck - see geeve Teksi - kah to shoot Tenning point - da "top" of a parabola Thest - ice cold Coke will relieve it on a hot day Tipic ally - characteristic Tocks - negotiations Uffrican - pertaining to Uffrica Ummy - military force We men - ladies We-pon - a gun Wean-dow - with glus for throwing bricks through Weaned - moving air Weaner - da one with da most votes Weck - what you do for money dat is legal Weckas - peepol who do da weck Weckliss - da unemployed peepol Weds - what da dickshunry is made up of Weld - da entire globe Wems - small crawly creatures, like "he's got wems" Weth - she is weth hair weight in gold Plies lan all your weds, we will have a test in da nea futcha.