Women's English "Yes" = No "No" = Yes "Maybe" = No "I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry "We need" = I want "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later "We need to talk" = I need to complain "Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron! "You're ... so manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot "You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about? "Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house "I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... "Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there! "I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like "I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and fire up the Playstation. "Am I fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful "You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me "Are you listening to me!?" = Too late, you're dead! "I'm not yelling!" = I am yelling because I think this is important Men's English: "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy "I'm tired" = I'm tired "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd like to have sex with you "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd like to have sex with you "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd like to have sex with you "May I have this dance?" = I'd like to have sex with you "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this. "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question "I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex? "I love you" = Let's have sex now I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! "Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys "I like that one better"(while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home and have sex!